Which therapist is right for me?

Therapists probably differ from each other as much as their clients. Therefore, one therapist’s theories, ideas, opinions, and treatment techniques may just contradict another therapist’s. But how do you know which therapist is best for you?

Why is every therapist different?

It may sound strange, but it’s actually a good thing that there are so many different therapists. It means there is a therapist and treatment plan to suit each and every person. And that’s important because with psychological complaints it is not always immediately clear how the problems can be solved. This differs from person to person and that is why the solutions are so different. What works for one person may make no difference for another.

How do I choose a therapist who is right for me?

Are you seeing a therapist for the first time and don’t know how to choose the right one? Then ask yourself the questions below.

What kind of person is the therapist?

A good relationship with your therapist is the most important thing for the therapy to be successful. Many therapists put some general information about themselves on their website. For example about their age, place of residence, family, hobbies, or leisure activities. What kind of person is the therapist? And do you identify with them?

What kind of lifestyle does the therapist lead?

If your mental health problems are related to your lifestyle (your marriage, your children, or your job, for example) you may find it helpful to talk to someone who has experience with your situation. Is the therapist married? Does he or she have children? The Online Therapists, for example, works a lot with therapists who live abroad and are, therefore, extremely good at empathizing with expat-related problems.

What techniques does the therapist use?

Before choosing a therapist, delve a little deeper into the psychological treatment techniques that appeal to you. Therapists often use talking techniques (cognitive behavioral therapy), but may also work with body-oriented therapy (movement therapy or EMDR therapy), creative or alternative forms of therapy (mindfulness or hypnotherapy), or group therapy. The differences in the effectiveness of these techniques are minimal. Their success depends to a large extent on the trust you have in the working method of the therapist.

How do the conversations take place?

Sure, you can sit on the couch with a therapist for an hour at a practice, but these days there are many alternative ways to get therapy. Are you still a little hesitant about going to a therapist? Then you might find online therapy more enjoyable. Online therapy is accessible because you do not have to go to a practice and you can have the conversations at your own kitchen table. You can even choose to only email or chat with some therapists.

Moreover, according to research, online therapy gives the same results as face-to-face conversations. In both cases, you have made the choice to face your problems and do something about them. That is often already half the battle!

Try it!

Have you done all the preliminary work and chosen a therapist or practice that appeals to you? Then it’s just a matter of trying! You never know if you will click with the therapist until you actually start talking to him or her. Start therapy with the idea that it’s perfectly normal to switch therapists if you still don’t feel comfortable or confident after a few sessions.

How do you know if you have chosen an appropriate therapist?

You know you have chosen a therapist who is a good fit for you when you feel at ease, heard, and understood. The therapist can summarize your vague complaints and reduce them to one or a few problems in a clear way. Then he or she is clear about the method and treatment plan, and they also check whether you feel comfortable with this. The therapist sometimes steers you in a certain direction and gives advice, but does not judge you or lecture you. In short, you have confidence in the professionalism of the therapist and the success of the treatment.

Therapists at The Online Therapists

The Online Therapists will help you to find a therapist who is right for you. We will have an introductory meeting with you, during which we will map out your situation, personality, specific problems, and preferences. We will then match you with a therapist who we think will be a good fit for you. This therapist will draw up a treatment plan based on an initial consultation so that you know exactly where you stand and whether this is something for you. Since we work with many therapists, it is also easy to switch therapists if necessary!


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Request an online consultation with one of our trusted online therapists.

    The expat blues: why being an expat doesn’t always make you feel good

    Looking for adventure! More and more people are opting for a new start abroad. Preferably in a place where the sun shines a lot more often, the beach is around the corner and palm trees grow in the garden. That sounds wonderful and it is, but it doesn’t always work out right away. In the first few years, a large number of expats suffer from the so-called expat blues.

    What are the expat blues?

    The fact that life in your new location is by no means always fun has to do with various stress factors.

    Everything is new

    You have a new home, in a new city, in a new country. Perhaps when you arrive you immediately have a new job, with new colleagues. You also have to arrange a lot of things right away: a rental contract, a permit, registering with the municipality, proof of identity, insurance, you name it. And you might even have to buy a new car.

    Putting down roots

    Once the “newness” has worn off a bit, you have to work hard to “get rooted”: make new friends, get to know the culture, and learn a foreign language. A poor command of the language can be frustrating when you want to get things done at government agencies. It can also make it difficult to make local friends. You might find more of a connection with other expats, but often they leave as well. Continuous networking in a different culture with different customs is exhausting.

    Missing family and friends

    And does it sometimes get a bit too much for you? Then you miss the social safety net you used to have: your family and friends. This can cause a feeling of loneliness and isolation. On top of that, your social contacts at home are not always understanding. They expect you to have a great time in that beautiful, faraway country.


    That can make you feel like it’s your own fault for being so miserable. After all, you live in paradise on earth, in that city you love so much, or in that cottage near the beach. Or maybe you went abroad for the job of your dreams. So why aren’t you happy?


    It’s sometimes hard to admit, but the destination can simply be disappointing too. Going somewhere on vacation is really different from living somewhere permanently. You may not feel welcome in the neighborhood, you may have trouble finding work or get paid little, the facilities may be disappointing, etc. And, at some point, you even get used to the glorious weather day in and day out. In fact, in the summer it is actually just way too hot.

    Loss of identity

    If you have left everything behind and are starting all over again abroad, you may also experience an unexpected loss of identity. Who are you without your familiar job, semi-detached house, nice car, friends, hobbies, and favorite activities? It is then necessary to reinvent yourself and that comes with a lot of uncertainty.

    Consequences of the expat blues

    All of these stressors can soon produce burnout symptoms. You are tired a lot, sad or irritable, you have headaches or are easily sick, or you feel empty and gloomy. This can even develop into an anxiety disorder or depression. Did you move with your partner because of his or her job? Then it is possible that you are struggling with ‘bore-out’: the feeling of not mattering because you cannot find work or are performing below your level. This in turn causes tension in the relationship.

    Online expat therapist

    The good news is that all of these symptoms are perfectly normal. You have turned your whole life upside down! It’s not surprising that you don’t feel like yourself for a while. Online therapy can support you in this process. The Online Therapists is specialized in expat problems because many of our therapists live abroad themselves. You can therefore come to us for therapy in different languages, in your time zone, and from your home wherever that is.

    Benefits of the expat blues

    You may not see it that way yourself yet, but the expat blues also have advantages. You really get to know yourself at this stage in your life and can completely reinvent yourself. It’s scary, but it also offers the opportunity for tremendous personal growth and self-development. What kind of person have you always wanted to be and what kind of life does that person have? An online therapist helps you to answer these questions in an accessible way, so you can start taking steps in the right direction.


    Want to get to know us first?

    Request an online consultation with one of our trusted online therapists.

      Monitor your mental health during the Coronavirus pandemic

      Since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, public health has been a hotly debated topic. But in addition to the physical consequences for those who contract the virus, everyone is dealing with the mental impact of the situation. We all seem to react to it differently: some are afraid of getting sick, others have little concern. Some go into hoarder mode, others into caregiver mode. Many are concerned about the health of loved ones, their own financial situation, or the effect of the Coronavirus on the economy.

      Quarantine measures and mental health

      And then we all have to stick it out at home, too. It is still unclear how much effect the outbreak of the Coronavirus will have on our collective mental health, but it is widely known that social contacts are essential in times of crisis. And those social contacts are now largely being taken away from us. Some are isolated all by themselves and need social contact more than usual, while others are now stuck with family members 24/7 and are missing out on time for themselves.

      It turns out that no less than 65% of people suffer from anxiety or stress symptoms and half of them feel gloomy. One in ten even says they experience severe anxiety and are afraid to go out. There are various causes for this:

      • This is a completely new situation, to which everyone reacts differently. You have not been able to prepare for it and may not know how to deal with someone else’s reaction. Some people get frustrated and get irritated and angry quickly, while others shut down completely and withdraw.
      • In a limited number of square meters, small things come under a magnifying glass. As a result, partners get irritated with each other more quickly but also when you are sitting at home alone you can suffer from this. Without distractions, it is very easy to overthink certain small things and make them bigger than they are.
      • A lack of control and routine causes nervousness in even the most unstructured people. Maybe your job and thus your daily schedule has completely disappeared, or you suddenly have to babysit the kids all day. And what do you do with your time now that you can no longer go to the gym or your favorite Italian restaurant is closed?
      • The uncertainty about how long this situation will last means that you can’t prepare for it and can’t make plans. If you know for sure that the situation will return to normal in a few weeks, you also know what the state of affairs is regarding your work, finances, the children’s school, that booked vacation, etc. You can then take this into account and possibly adjust your plans. Now that this is not possible, many people feel aimless and powerless.

      How do you keep yourself mentally healthy during a pandemic?

      The longer the quarantine measures last, the greater the effect on mental health. It is, therefore, important to increase your mental ‘resilience’. Normally, you probably already have some techniques for this. For example, you may feel better by seeking distraction, taking time for yourself, or helping others. Many people now slip into one of these stress reactions. So be aware of how you react to this situation and what you can do to improve that stress reaction.

      Do not be ashamed to seek help. A therapist can help you very effectively with this. The therapists affiliated with The Online Therapists also have all the necessary experience with remote therapy. Through online therapy, a therapist helps you to create awareness of your own behavior. Based on this, you examine together what works well for you in this exceptional situation. Then you build up a new rhythm. This starts completely with the basics: what time do you go up? What do you eat? How do you keep moving? If you no longer have a job, therapy helps you set new goals so that you can give meaning to your days again. You also learn to deal with negativity from the news and social media, and any fears or stress that may arise from this.

      So you keep yourself mentally healthy even in these times!


      Want to get to know us first?

      Request an online consultation with one of our trusted online therapists.

        Is it possible to see a therapist during working hours?

        For a visit to the family doctor or dentist, your employer is probably understanding, but what if you go to the therapist every Tuesday morning? How does that work? Are you entitled to leave? And if so, will you be paid for this time?

        Special leave

        For special events, such as weddings, funerals and anniversaries, moving house, exams, union activities, as well as doctor’s visits, you as an employee can be granted special leave. However, the rules regarding special leave are not regulated by law but are determined by the CAO, the company regulations, or your specific employment contract. This not only states whether you are entitled to special leave but also when, for how long, and for what compensation.

        Leave for doctor’s visit

        Most employers expect you to schedule doctor’s visits, such as to the family doctor, dentist, or hospital, in your spare time. If this is impossible, for example, because you work full-time, or because the doctor in question is not available at the times you are free, then in most cases, you will be granted leave. However, this leave is not always paid. It is, therefore, possible that you will have to catch up on hours or take days off.

        The chance that you will get paid leave for therapy is relatively small. First, according to your collective bargaining agreement, a therapist must be considered a doctor. Officially, a therapist is not a doctor. A psychiatrist is, by the way. Secondly, for therapy, unlike a one-time visit to a doctor or dentist, you have to miss work time repeatedly. Some collective labor agreements have established a maximum number of hours of leave for doctor’s visits, which ultimately makes therapy during working hours impossible.

        The rules regarding therapist leave are therefore different for each profession or employer. Not sure which rules apply to you? Ask your employer about this.

        What if you don’t get a leave of absence?

        If you are in therapy for a long time, it is very annoying if you do not get leave for this. The number of hours of leave you have to take can quickly add up. Do you have a job that allows you to work evenings and weekends (from home if necessary)? If so, discuss with your employer whether you can shift your hours so that you do not have to take time off. After all, your employer also benefits from the fact that you feel better about yourself through therapy, so you have every right to ask for his or her cooperation.

        Is that not possible? Then consider online therapy. The Online Therapists have very flexible therapists who also work in the evenings or weekends. This way you can see a therapist outside of work hours.


        Want to get to know us first?

        Request an online consultation with one of our trusted online therapists.

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